Warning: this is not a pretty, flowery blog entry. They warned that the honeymoon period would wear off at around the two-month mark, but it seems to be coming early for me (at the five-week mark now).
I am wondering if maybe I should just accept the fact that no matter how hard I try, things are bound to be difficult and get messed up. I always try to do my best and work hard to succeed in life, but everything always seems to come up short. I worked hard in high school, only to finance the majority of my education on my own. I studied and worked hard at the UW, only to struggle to find a "good" job after graduation. I tried to move to a different country to broaden my outlook and experience, and lately all I've been experiencing is frustration. I don't speak or read the language, I have never been to Japan before, and things (appliances, stores, etc.) are different over here. Daily tasks take longer, and simple things are often hard to find.
I try not to ask for much. All I am looking for is a general merchandise store, yet I walked around for two hours today (between three train stops) looking for an elusive Daiei, before ducking into a bicycle shop hoping maybe someone spoke English there (hey, there was a Trek out front). Well, after a valiant effort, I learned that there maybe a Daiei nearby, and it may be off the JR line, or it may be off the Seibu line, or it may be in Guam. After this lovely conversation, I decided that since I found a regular grocery store, I would finally make myself a little stir-fry for dinner. My rice cooker couldn't require an advanced degree in physics? Wrong, I tried to match up the characters on my current rice cooker with the partially translated directions for a prior rice cooker, only to get over-cooked, starchy rice. At least the stir-fry portion was good. Then I thought I would try to relax and maybe do a load of laundry, but I think my washing machine is toast. I noticed that my clothes were still pretty wet when I took them out last week but assumed that I had too large of a load. Wrong, this week I noticed that the centrifuge portion of my washing machine doesn't drain properly (not allowing them to spin dry), and now it doesn't spin at all and has left a nice burned-up smell in the apartment.
So, needless to say, I am frustrated and a bit angry at 3:00 am in Japan. All I want is an apartment that has working/useful features (i.e. a peephole that cannot be removed from the outside, a small shelf utilizing the wasted space above my washer, and maybe a screen door on my patio doors, so that I can actually let in some fresh air and keep the bugs out), a little more help finding places/stores that are closer to my apartment (my school is 50 minutes away), and someone who possibly speaks English other than my co-workers.
And Mom, I don't need you to send money. I think I just needed to vent a little and try to fall asleep to the rhythmic sound of my laundry dripping on my carpet (I'm sure that's going to be great for the carpet, but I don't really have any other options).